


On Thin Ice

by MoonlightShines (Thatkillervibe)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 5x19, Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Popcorn, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18603040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkillervibe/pseuds/MoonlightShines
Summary: Caitllin never did this before, and it was freaking Cisco out.She puttered around her kitchen, searching for popcorn, and going on and on about this thing her mother said to her when they went out for drinks. This funny thing that Dr. Tannhauser said which made Caitlin smile, which Cisco was still having a hard time wrapping his head around.A 5x19 reaction fic.





	On Thin Ice

**Author's Note:**

> This episode made me so mad about the could-have-beens. I promised the discord I'd be writing this so. Here we are. It's not ship-y here because it's canon compliant. But. Hey. You know what I think.

She never did this before, and it was freaking him out.

 

She puttered around her kitchen, searching for popcorn, and going on and on about this thing her mother said to her when they went out for drinks. This funny thing that Dr. Tannhauser said which made Caitlin smile, which Cisco was still having a hard time wrapping his head around. He silently cursed himself for missing the one time he’s been waiting for years to give that woman a piece of his mind, forget the guilt for not being there for Caitlin, for not being with her when everything went wrong.

 

He took a sip of ginger ale, his eyes following Caitlin’s movements as she used Frost to open the hot seal of the popcorn bag, spilling its contents into a big metal bowl.

 

You wouldn’t think anything was wrong, looking at her.

 

He got up, leaving his glass on the table and not in the dishwasher like the terrible house guest he’s earned the right to become after spending years in Caitlin’s apartment, offering to take the bowl from her as she settled cross-legged in front of her television set.

 

He had spent about twenty minutes rewiring the cables to fit in the old VCR, Caitlin determined to show him her favourite memories of her dad, all unfortunately preserved in VHS tapes. The ones Cisco had always seen hidden in a box on a shelf next to her BBC dramas layered with dust. He offered to burn them onto DVDs before, long ago actually, but she had always ignored him politely, as if he’d never asked the question.

 

So it was weird now. Not that the box was out and she was blowing off dust, reading under her breath the dates on the stickers, and not even the fact that she wanted to watch them. With him, he found surprising yes, but it wasn’t that either, honestly. It was that...

 

“And she told me about their honeymoon. It was in Spain. Did I tell you?”

 

It was that she was chatty. Fast paced, big smile. And just. Not like Caitlin after a death. Not like Caitlin at all.

 

“No,” he said, sitting down with a grunt, sinking into the leather plush of her couch. Cisco had a bad habit of falling asleep during Caitlin’s movies because of the marshmallow-ness of this couch.

 

“Well it was. I find that so interesting, Mom never told me.”

 

Caitlin’s hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and he saw the baby hair wisps at the back of her neck as she bent down over her box, pulling out the one she seemed to want. She lifted it up triumphantly, flashing him a happy glance. _1995_ it read.

 

Whoo. Baby Caitlin. Here we go.

 

She pushed the tape into the slot, and the machine swallowed it happily, churning and whining. Cisco pointed the remote to the right input channel, and then static and high fuzz.

 

“It needs to be rewinded,” she told him, and it would be incredibly endearing if he wasn’t so on edge.

 

“Oh!” she said suddenly. “We need drinks.”

  
Cisco made a face. “Caitlin--It’s fine. Come here. I’ll get it.”

 

“It’ll just take a second,” she promised, running off again.

 

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, watching the Snows run backwards on the TV until it hit the beginning.

 

When Caitlin returned with his newly topped up ginger-ale with fresh ice, she sat down, pulling the blankets over their laps and resting the popcorn bowl between them.

  
“It’s been years since I’ve seen these. I was six here.”

 

Cisco bit his lip, watching the way she settled her back against the couch with some blanket scrunched between fingers, debating whether or not he should say something.

 

“Aren’t you going to press play?”

 

Cisco set down his drink on the side table.

 

“Hey, can I be real with you? Like for a sec?”

 

She tilted her head at him, inquisitive.

 

He fished under the blanket for her hand, pulling it out. She looked down at it and frowned.

  
“Cisco,” she murmured.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked gently, scooching forward, rubbing careful circles into the soft skin of her hand in his grasp . “Because Caitlin, it’s okay if you’re not. You don’t have to pretend, never have to with me.”

 

She looked so caught off guard, that it was making _Cisco_ confused. “I’m fine, Cisco. I just want to watch the home videos.”

 

He studied her, but she wasn’t doing that lip trembly thing before she cried, or that shut off cold blank face she wore for nine and a half months after the particle accelerator explosion, or even her horrified blown back eyes she wore in the months after she came back from Earth 2.

 

But he didn’t believe her. Her father just died. Her father, who he had pushed her to investigate the death of, who he had insisted she should reconnect with, if he was out there. And now.

 

And now, she had lost him all over again.

 

When it came to saving families, Cisco should be left out of the game.

 

He breathed out her name, but she simply removed his touch with her other hand, and reached over him to get the remote to start the movie.

 

Cisco watched the Caitlin onscreen yelling for ice cream with her two front teeth missing, but also his best friend out of the corner of his eye.

 

She laughed at the funny things, and gave him insight on little fun facts about where they were, and why they were important.

 

Caitlin’s family was so...In tact, back then.

 

“This was before he really got sick,” she said matter of factly, as if she could read his mind.

 

_“Hey Caity, look! It’s a caterpillar!”_

 

Six year old Caitlin ran to the tree branch her father was pointing at in their backyard, Dr. T giggling behind the camera, and focusing on the green leaf with the fuzzy orange bug.

 

Caitlin looked up at her dad, asking permission, and he nodded. She picked it up, the caterpillar crawling straight into her cupped palms like she was the insect whisperer, and she ran to her mom to show off her new friend with beaming pride. Her face contorted suddenly, and she shrieked, dropping the leaf to the ground, shaking her hands in a hopping dance.

 

 _“What happened?”_ Thomas laughed, picking the leaf again and nudging the caterpillar back onto the tree.

 

_“It pooped on me!”_

 

Dr. Tannhauser’s laugh soared high, and the camera shook as she bent down to inspect little Caitlin’s hand. _“You want to wash your hands, honey?”_

 

Caitlin nodded, and Thomas ushered her into the back inside the screen door and the camera went sideways, then black.

 

Cisco chuckled as grey static resumed for a few seconds until the next recording, nudging Caitlin’s shoulder, shoving in a mouthful of popcorn.“You were so cute.” He reached for his ginger ale again to wash it down.

 

She didn’t reply. Cisco took his sip, eyes still on the next sequence of the three of them at a bowling alley, waiting for her to push him back and make him spill it all over his lap, but nothing came.

 

He turned to his right.

 

“..Caitlin?”

 

She gasped out a sob, her shoulders shaking with her hand over her mouth, eyes glassy with tears streaming down her face.

 

“Oh Caitlin.”

 

He paused the movie and pushed the popcorn away, uncaring at how it toppled over onto the ground, pulling her closer to him until she was crying wet into his neck.

 

“He was your dad,” Cisco soothed. “And I know you loved him.”

 

“I just got him back,” she bawled, and he rubbed the back of her shirt, stroking her hair with his other hand, letting her grieve. She fisted his shirt, clinging onto him like he was all she had left, and Cisco wanted to know how many people had to leave this woman for the multiverse to be satisfied and leave her alone.

 

“I know. It’s okay. I got you.”

 

And, Cisco wouldn’t be surprised if she withdrew from him after tonight, growing distant like he knows her to do, becoming a cold, hard kind of fragile. But just like every time, he’s going to be here for her, sitting on her couch with the Kleenex or the ice cream or the vodka.

 

His eyes widened, realizing something.

 

_He was going to have to be here._

  



End file.
